30w

Well after the saga that was saturday, i had my 30w check up on tuesday, I am 3 kilos LIGHTER then when i got pregnant and im measuring a few weeks behind apparantly.... not that it makes any difference to anything, no big deal Logans heart is nice and strong and he's always kicking me so i know all is well, my BP was perfect! 110/70, Can u believe it! Its the best its been since i had Marlie! so thats great news! I dont see my OB now till the 5th of August as he's gone away for 2 weeks and yeh the first appointment wasnt till then instead of the 27th of July like its meant to be haha, hopefully when i get to that appointment everything is still good with me.. my BP shot up out of control at 33 weeks which is what i will be at my next appointment.. so im a little on edge about that, but positive thinking right!!

Pic is me today at 30w4d :D

A lil scare

Well i spent the day in hospital on saturday.. I woke up feeling really sick and had a very bad headache, I hadnt felt Logan move all night and was getting tightenings so i rang the midwives and they told me to come straight down, so I got dressed and organised and told Mike to stay home with Marlie as it was probably just my BP playin up and i should be back home soon... well i get there at 11am and they thought i was in preterm labour, they were erratic but being 29 weeks they didnt want to take any chances, My doc came finally at about 4.30, he had been caught up at another hospital with 2 ceasers and a problematic induction but kept ringing to see how i was so i was being monitored by the midwives and him via phone, The pains in my tummy were so intense I hadnt eaten anything all day as the middys were playin the "just in case" card so hadnt given me anything, no pain relief, food nothing.. just water! i finally got 2 panadiene forte from him and he let me have them waited for them to settle in and then took me for a scan, and depending on what he could see in there would determie if i had to have the internal.. Turns out well i wasnt in pre-term labor and Logan is fine and has turned to head down position so from the scan he could see around my ceaser scar and other scar tissue i have in the area from my 8 other abdominal surgerys ( laps due to endo) the tissue had all ripped away from there, apparantly i have very touchy scar tissue due to all the freakin surgerys ive had and the previous ceaser, so now he wants to book me in for another ceaser, he doesnt think my uterus will make it thru labour, so any hope of a VBAC has basically been thrown out the window.. I see him again tuesday and will discuss it more with him then, Its all good though, ill deal with it just like everythin else, as my last ob said "most women can give birth in the middle of a field.. your just not one of them" go me.. doc wanted me to stay overnight but i wanted to come home.. so i did, they never actually admitted me so i figured why pay the excess just to stay the night when i was ok enough to come home, but i was under strict if anythin happens or it gets worse to come straight back instructions, got home at about 7, had some dinner as i hadnt eaten since 9am, had a shower, threw up my dinner while i was in the shower (gross) and then almost passed out, my hubby reckons the water was too hot, so i just went straight to bed after that, (oh and i forgot to say hubby had taken our daughter to his mums at about 2 and had been with me from then at the hospital) i had no idea i was in lala land from the panadiene on the previously empty tummy.. so bring on tuesday and will see where i stand i guess... oh and my BP was good 130/80 i think? and no protein so no sign of pre eclampsia so far *hooray*

29w1d

Just realized I haven't posted a belly shot for awhile so heres somethin a little different :P
I just took this now when i got out of the shower... belly is feeling massive now!!

Backyard blitz.... AGAIN

Well after 5 years I have finally allowed Mike to get the shed he's always wanted
So operation kill the backyard is on again.. this will be the 4th makeover my poor yard has gone thru, from ripping out the pool, then woodchipping the entire thing, paving, then getting rid of the woodchips, turfing etc etc it just doesnt stop lmao and im never ever happy with it so today Mike took the steps in showing that he seriously wants his big shed by gutting our little garden shed and removing some of the sides, everything that was in that shed has been thrown besides some paint and the lawnmower! Just goes to show it was a junk horder!! so it will be completely gone by next weekend hopefully, we just gotta work out how to get rid of the concrete slab and then all the sleepers will be removed and then the dingo will be coming in to level it all out ready for the new concrete and that once the permit has been approved, oh also the washing line will be going too... so gonna a new one of them too lol we have a  6 foot easement at the back of our property, so the shed that can fit in there is 6mx7m, it will take up less then half of our massive yard so all is well in the world... We were originally going to fix up the patio but it would cost us over 10 grand and our shed including everything is going to be around the 7 grand mark so very happy to do that over the patio, cant use the patio in winter too cold but a huge shed... ahhh pool table, air hockey table, couches fully carpeted...gas heaters.... its gonna be awesome :D

Flying by...

Can you believe im in the third trimester?!?!?! This pregnancy is just flying by! Mike only has to work in the morning hopefully tomorrow so i really hope he can come to my OB appointment with us tomorrow at 4pm!  My OB recently invested in a little scanning machine for his rooms which is very exciting especially as hes so much bigger now we should be able to get a good view of his face and hands etc :D 

My bestie is havin such a stressful time lately with her preg and im praying something happens tomorrow if not the latest wednesday so her pain and stress can all go away and her little man will be here safe. thinkin of u babes xxxxxx

omgg

why did i pick stripes again... didnt i learn the first time i did them for Marlies room... omg its so time consuming... the taping up takes forever!! ugh lol

whinge whinge whinge lol

heres a blog now shhhh lol
26 weeks...
excuse the mess... going thru clothes and thats my throw out pile lol

belly is growing nicely, thats today 26w1d

Marlie has been very sick as most of you know and required a hospital visit, her first ever! were not one to rush off to doctors normally but when i had to come home from dinner for JenJens birthday and saw my baby having so much trouble breathing and with a temp of 39.2 i sorta paniced and thought it better safe then sorry, we were there from 10pm till about 4am!

My poor bubba in hospi.. and all of you know how bright and happy and well diva like my baby girl is and to see her like this broke my heart. she stayed on my lap like this the entire time we were there, being kicked by her brother the whole time, it was like having a little furnace on my belly her temp was just raging out of control and peaked at 39.8 

And here is my happy bubba, painting up a storm! She loves it so i got her to do a little canvas which is now hanging on her wall in her room, i got her to do a handprint on it too which got a little smudged but meh oh well!! thats all part of the fun right?

:D

Just a quickie to post pics...  I was a little bored today so decieded to jazz them up a bit... something i have been neglecting... i love editing photos and making something awesome out of something plain, i guess you could call it my hobby haha yay a hobby that is sorta crafty and still in digital form, the first 3 are just borders and text but the very bottom picture is a little bit more spesh, i have taught myself basically everything i know about editing and graphic design.. i am gettin alot better at it these days, reading more and just playing round with things haha amazing what you forget though!! Im gonna post the invite i made up for my mummabear as well for her 50th....

Everything is going well with the pregnancy, bp is stable, Marlie is a little terror haha her curiosity is unbelievable and she just climbs anything and everything, each day she says something new and knows what so many things are so if we say hey marlie wheres so n so she goes and gets the right thing, much a clever little munchkin :D

Whooops

I have been neglecting my blog yet again!!

Well a lot has happened over the last few weeks we found out we are expecting a little boy!!
Very exciting times ahead, Mike is wrapt I at first to be honest was a little not disappointed but just in shock i guess, my whole life i have always thought i would only have daughters, coming from a predominately female family.. ie i have 3 sisters... my mum has 2 and 1 brother... then my nan a only child... my great grandmother was one of 5 with 3 sisters and only one brother so you get the idea here! and even my hubbys family is manily girls as well so yeh just thought it was another girl haha i have since come around to the idea even though it still doesnt feel real lik ei have seen his bits and had it confirmed but yeh lol i guess i will have to see it to beleive it haha, we are painting his nursery into as jungle theme which i cant wait to start doing!! Mike's Omi is painting us a tripych for his wall with all jungle scenes and animals and yeh i love painting so just cant wait tio get it started!!

Here is a scan pic proving there is a willy and you can see his arm up next to his head and his eye sockets lol , i only got one printed shot so i have taken this off the video and well the scan didnt go that great as bubby just wouldnt co-operate and move in the right way so get that perfect profile shot he had his back to us most of the time which was a bit disapointing but not to worry we saw enough to know hes in there and his heart is fine and everything is well in the world with him :D

Here is my belly shot for week 22 as well!

20 weeks

I've been slack and forgot to post my belly pic so while it is transfering to the computer now i thought i would write some stuff,
This week has been a stupid one, it has gone quickly but boring and crap, Although on tuesday night i started yoga with Loz, which is great, get to make a new friend and do something different then what i did with my first pregnancy with the grub, this baby is now known as wormz lol and we find out what sex wormz is on wednesday.. i dont know if i want to share it, i dont know why but this pregnancy has beena lot more low key then with Marlie, with her i wanted to tell everyone everything whereas this time im not so keen.
Friday was our normal pizza day and Marlie decieded she wanted to share daddys pizza :)

As for "mothers day" i've deceided its the day dedicated to making the mother feel like shit and forgetting all about her and means nothing, so there will be no more mothers days in this house.


oh and of course the 20 week belly shots

19 weeks!

Shes growing nicely! I say she but i dont have my scan till the 12th of May to confirm, but as per usual Mike is adamant its a boy but i dunno i just not feeling boy vibes, i didnt with Marlie either and proved Mike wrong lol and to be honest cant wait to do the told ya so dance all over again ahaha nah i do hope for his sake its a boy but im just not convinced... mind u even if it is a boy i dont think i will beleive it till i see in the flesh a little willy!! i have never my whole life thought i would have a son, i have always seen myself just like my mum with 4 girls running around like there was in my house.. although due to my issues i think this will be our second and last bubba but one can hope!

Ive got a BABY in my Belly!

18 weeks!

I wish

• I had the balls to be a homebirther
• Had the guts to ignore what the doctors tell me and had the support in my family to do so
• Could feel what labour feels like, even for a hour
• I didnt have that niggling what if factor, and could just stay home like my friends tell me.. but as i was once told by my OB "Most women can give birth in a field and have no issues, you are not one of them" confidence in my body is non existant.

*****SIGH****

I am however very excited about the blessingway my friends are going to organise for me.. im really lookin forward to it in the future when my bellys all big and round 

Wow

Ok so preggy related stuff... Well i knew my BM would dry up eventually but im surprised it has now at 17weeks preg lol, I can still squeeze a little something out but it has now gone to clear fluid instead of the collustrum i have had for the last couple of months haha how wierd, I feel bubby moving through out the day, get lots of little flutters and kicks its very cute hehe

 Not alot has been happening about my place, i have been feelin a little lazy then mix that in with a toddler who is into everything and as such my house constantly looks like a bomb zone!

We went into frankston this morning with my cousin who is 32 weeks preg to help her find some tops to wear as everythin she had is finally gettin a little on the short side hehe so when we got home Miss M went to bed and i started the gut the house.. i really gotta strive to keep my benches clutter free.. i just tend to dump everything on them instead of puttin it all away like the vegemite will sit on the bench constantly because in my lazy head i think well im gonna need it tomorrow anyway but enough is enough, i have always been a house proud person and i am becoming a messy slob, something i have always hated and i dont know how it got to be like this, so i am makin a pledge to myself.,.. no computer and no tv until the house chores are done... no more letting washing sit in the laundry for days on days and i will do a load, hang it out n fold n put it away each day like i should be! BAH angry at myself for bein so messy, oh n just to clarify my house is messy/untidy it is in no ways a dirty house, there isnt rubbish everywhere.. what i consider to be messy other people think im nuts lol toys on the floor and washing on the dining room table, papers in a stack on the bench..  its enough to make a house look cluttered which in turns looks messy.. get my drift hehe

hmmm ok looks like there is a storm coming i better bring the towels and nappies in!

Hello

wow ive been a terrible blogger lately huh... just a quick update im 16 weeks today hoooray! my belly has popped out and im looking more pregnant than 16 weeks but meh oh wells haha, I have been so very very tired this last week and having issues with the excess fluid my body is making ie: pooling in my middle ear so i am deaf half the time in the mleft ear and there is nothin i can do about it as u have to take antihistamines to dry it up and well being pregnant thats a big no no, we have just had easter and as usual it wsas nothing spectacular just the normal family gatherings back n forth and yeh marlie got 36 eggs and a few bunnys... mmm mummy n daddy will enjoy most of them i be thinking haha. Belly shot below :)

Finish the Sentence

Ok Im bored.. so if ur bored n have nothin to blog about do this too... u know u want too... plus i wanna read ur answers haha

1. My ex ....is gay.. like really he has a "husband" n everything lol

2. Maybe I should... Do more with my days and stop bein so lazy all the time

3. I love... My little expanding family

4. People would say that I am...determined

5. I don't understand..... alot of things, the worst being something that happened a long long time ago

6. When I wake up in the morning... I dont wonna get outta bed

7. I lost..... i dont think ive lost anything, when u "loose" something as such it opens up more doors, by "loosing" something you always gain more from the experience

8. Life is full of... experiences, take each one with its own merit, learn from it and move on

9. My past taught me..... things are never as u expect them to be set your bar low and u cant be disapointed.

10. I get annoyed when...  People think they are better then me, hate to breakit to ya but ur no different from the next person just as im not.

11. Parties are... for having fun

12. I wish.... for a happy and healthy life for my children and family n friends, the rest will come

13. Dogs...are just that, dogs, they are nice to have in the family but MUST know that they are just that, dogs, they rank at the bottom of the food chain.

14. Cats... are so up themselves, i like my cat shes burmese and doesnt have that bitchy attitude that normally accompanies  most animals of that species

15. Tomorrow... is monday, i have nothing planned... surprise surprise

16. I have a low tolerance for... idiots

17. If I had a million dollars... I wouldnt become a stuck up fuckwit n go n blow it on every luxury possible.

18. I'm totally terrified of... loosing my friends and family, they are the world to me.

:/

Ugh well im 13 weeks and right one cue the cramps and lower back pain are starting up, it happened at exactly the same time with Marlie, ouch ouch ouch all the endo scar tissue is ripping and omfg it is killing me... i forgot just how much this part hurts :(
Although i will live thru it and im sure there is nothing wrong with the baby it just hurtttts
I dont have my next scan until May! omg that is sooo far away but that said all of a sudden i realised tonight i have been in the 2nd trimester for a whole week already, this pregnancy is just flying past, its amazing..  i guess because i have miss marlie here to keep me busy where as before i just had me and my crazy over analyzing mind to contend with, whereas this time i actually forget im pregnant half the time!! I am currently weighing in at 80 kilos so yep pregnancy is working like a diet for me again i have lost 4.5 kilos so far and im hopin i will only gain 6 like last time and then loose 22 and actually keep it off this time and not turn into a fatty fatty again its not healthy for me and i need to be healthy for my babes and be able to do things with them and not get out of breath, plus i want to be a good role model unlike my yoyo dieting mother who put her terrible eating habits onto us and then berated us with the suck it in comments about our chubby bellys as she fed us adult sized meals and rediculous desserts.. anywaaaaaay so yeh i dont want to do that..
I will take a photo during the week for the 14 week mark :)

For my Rara

Hooray!

Had my scan today and heres my baby!! 11w4d, you can see the bubbys yolk sac behind shim, looks like its slung its balls onto shis back hahaha HB 173 bpm, 5.23cm long, nuchal fold was only 1.2mm so looking VERY good and healthy hooray!!
I was so stressed the last few days, dreaming of downs syndrome and edwards syndrome and all those horrible sad trisomy problems and Dr Atchison reckons everythin is fine in there and i should have nothing to worry about so hooray again!!

Big day

Tomorrow two of my very best friends in the world are getting married! Mike n me are in the bridal party, i have just dropped him off to the grooms mother house where he will be staying the night and as for me, well i have Miss Marlie till i drop her to my mums and then im out for dinner with the bride and other bridesmaids then ill be coming home for the night, the thought of sleeping on the floor at the brides mums house does not appeal to me one bit if i wasn't preg and already sleeping badly sure thing i would but yeh i need a good nights sleep or ill be to exhausted for the HUGE day ahead of us tomorrow, although i will be all alone here tonight n that is a little unsettling.. I will be going back bright n early in the morning to start the preparations and for brekkie etc, its going to be hard for me as i wont see Marlie from when i drop her off later this arvo until monday morning!! thats 2 whole nights she wont be with me.. oh dear the longest shes been away from me was just one night and i dropped her off late and picked her up early! so it was really just her asleep times i wasnt there for... talk about a whole new thing, most mothers would be like hell yeh time away from the kids but not me, im gonna fret the whole time but im hoping the wedding celebrations will keep me occupied for most of the time! She is in good hands as she will be staying with my mum tonight and my mil tomorrow night as my mum has to work monday or she would of had her both nights... ok well i hear whinging coming from her room i should get her up n organised to go to nannys!

SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2009

Scenario :
Jack goes rabbit shooting before school,
pulls into school parking lot with rifle in gun rack.

1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's rifle, goes to his car and gets his rifle & chats with Jack about guns.

2009 - School goes into lock down, Star Force called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again.. Counsellors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario:
Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.

1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.

2009 - Police called, arrests Johnny and Mark.. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it. Both children go to anger management programs for 3 months. School board hold meeting to impliment bullying prevention programs

Scenario:
Robbie won't be still in class, disrupts other students.

1957 - Robbie sent to office and given 6 of the best by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2009 - Robbie given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. Robbie's parents get fortnightly disability payments and School gets extra funding from state because Robbie has a disability.

Scenario :
Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

2009 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison.

Scenario :
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

1957 - Mark gets glass of water from Principal to take aspirin with.

2009 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario :
Pedro fails high school English.

1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.

2009 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. AFRE files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario :
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from Guy Fawkes, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a bullant nest.

1957 - Ants die.

2009- State Police, Star Force, Federal Police & Anti-terrorism Squad called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, Feds investigate parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated. Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario :
Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary . Mary hugs him to comfort him.

1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

2009 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

This should be sent to every e-mail address to show how stupid we have become!

Think about it!

ouchy

My hips are killing meee well its not quite my actual hips its the bit lower down from that where the top of ur leg joins its been aching for 2 days now and my lower back is giving me a bit of greif too.. ugh i dont remember getting this pain till much later on with Marlie but now im thinking perhaps its from my couch where i seem to be spending so much time lately as it sinks in the middle and its my right hip area thats hurting the most and thats where is sinks in on coz i sit on the left hand side of it... time for a new couch i hear you say?? hmm i agree now just to convince mike i need a nice new plushy comfy one instead of this $300 fold out bed piece of shit that we bought years ago when we had ppl in and out of here like a half way house... ah the days of partys every weekends with our friends lol seems so long ago... when did i turn into a old lady... oh yeh when we had Marlie but yay i wouldnt swap it for the world, i cbf with partying every weekend and just the thought of all the mess that had to be cleaned up and then people layin round my house all day when u just want them to bugger off... no thanks!!

Cant make my mind up...

So you have probly noticed my blog changes every other day as i just cant find one i like... so lets see how long this one lasts for.. prob a bit longer coz i actually edited it properly..

headbo? hatbo?

STEP ONE...

STEP TWO:

Oh yes she is very special, after watching daddy put her bumbo on his head like a helmut Miss Marlie has decieded this is the true puropse of the bumbo and now continuously walks around the front loungeroom with it on her head... completely blinded by the back of it... we have luckily had no accidents as yet but its bloody heavy and im surprised her neck can take the weight, if u take it off her she screams blue murder! lol my special little cherub hahaha

Name one... sorted

OK
So we have decieded on a girls name... it was really easy to decide actually.. the boys name is the hard part!!
I wouldnt even talk about names when i was preg with Marlie till 20 weeks but all of a sudden tonight we just started yappin about it and the girls was decieded pretty much straight away, admittedly it is one of the names we tossed around when marlie was in the tum but now i like it more then i did then and yeh it jsut works for us hooray..

Same ole same ole

I need recipes!!!
I am so sick of cooking the same shit day in day out... whats your family favorites??
dont be shy now people... share with meeeeeeeeeeeeee

Neglected

Yepo i have neglected my blog... again ooops sorry

Not much has been going on, Ive been feelin pretty crappy the last couple of days, everything is still going strong in my belly i hope, i havent had any indication of anythin sinister going on, Im not really looking forward to my 12 week scan, I try not to think the worst but I have in my head that there will be something wrong, the whole "you have the ovaries of a 40yr old" is ringing in my head and I fear that there would be something wrong with my baby like downs syndrome or worse... its a feelin I cant shake I am booked in for the 9th of March but I think I will push it back another week, as according to my last scan results I will only be 11w3d and that will be to early to do the nuchual measurement, I am going for the blood test on friday when i will be 10weeks exactly.. ugh ok well I'm gonna go lay on the couch and curl up in a ball and go back the land of make believe.

Old School Rock

My whole life i was bought up around music, My mums music omg talk about the best music in history, My all time fav from my mums music is Stevie Nicks.... luv everything about her.
Her music hits a spot with me i dont know why, maybe its the memorys of my mum dancing with her friends in our loungeroom and us watching from the hall and her not knowing we were up, the free will the love the way my mother was when we werent meant to be watching. She was a free spirit, I see the way i am and i am so much like her, everyone my whole life has told me this but its not until now as a adult i can appreciate it.  Anyway some of my fav songs... :)



Rhiannon is the story of a lady that is from another world ~ called the Bright world ~ and she leaves her kingdom to become the wife of a king ~ a mortal king ~ but goddesses really can't marry mortal kings, if they do they lose their powers ~ their magic powers. And they don't lose the knowledge of them they just ~they know everything that's going to happen they just can'tdo anything about it. Which is a much more difficult way to live than not having magic powers is to not be able to use them and know exactly what's coming and to not be able to tell anybody. So she comes down and does her whole trip, and it's just a whole story ~ it's a wonderful story.

And she has these birds that sing and that is the legend of the song of the birds of Rhiannon. And they sing this song that is uh, said takes away pain and suffering and if you hear the song you just sort of blank out and go away and then when you wake up everthing's all right. And it is a wonderful, wonderful story which I use a lot, because there's a lot of ~ there seems to be a lot of need for the story of Rhiannon around lately, because if people are sad or have lost anybody or something the story really makes a lot of sense.
~Stevie Nicks, Starsound Special RKO Radio, December 21, 1981

Male Mutilation oh excuse me Circumcision...

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Love

Upset

Well it already looks like i will not be having a natural delivery, i just had my blood pressure taken and it is already 145/92
I am going to ring my doc when Marlie gets up and go and see him hopefully today, yesterday i went sorta blind in one eye then almost passed out and broke out in a cold sweat, I am 8 weeks pregnant :( none of this shit started till 33 weeks when i was preg with Marlie, so much for the it only happens once blah blah blah... fucken not happy jan.

A new thing for me

Now i beg your pardon but who the hell said i can get morning sickness!!
I had a day or 2 around week 7-8 when i was preg with Marlie but this is ridiculous, everyday i wake up feeling like i wanna puke and pass out, its a horrible feeling, i guess its a good thing and everyone keeps givin me the its gonna be boy coz this pregnancy has already been so different,  no really tender breasts, the nips are a little sensitive but nothin serious like with Marlie, the ms that has started and ugggh im not meaning to sook its just a whole different experience to what im use too lol, i am extremly lucky to even be pregnant, considering all the ivf and crap i went thru for Marlie and then well for nothing. Yay for morning sickness? lol xx

We have a heartbeat!!

So i woke up this morning and decided i wanted to go for my scan, i have been ummin an arrhin as to when i would go as i wanted it to be late enough that there would be a heartbeat, i would be so devestated if there wasnt one even if it were too early i would fear the worst, so i rang around the different scanning places and thank god CLayton had a appointment available, the guy who did my scan was really nice and really good at his job, Im a fan of him, explained everything in detail to Mike as he had a million questions as to what this n that was lol, I was right I ovulated from the right hand side, got a good corpus luteum there, almost the size of my ovary, so it is doing its job and supporting my little blob yay! We will be calling it the Blob because when Mike asked what was what the guy goes see the balloon and the blob.. well the blobs the baby
haha yay here is a piccie! terrible quality but they didnt print out a pic for us so mike to this off the screen :)
Bubby is measuring 5.5mm with a heartbeat of 113 bpm so everythin is going awesomely
6w3d according to scan so we are due the 24th of September!!

Just wanted to Share :)

 

This is one of my most favorite photos of my breast feeding journey with Marlie, I love how she is sitting up next to me, she was so tiny.

This was i think her 2nd maybe 3rd feed and well obviously assisted, while i was in CCU after my horrible birth experience.

I couldnt sit up after havin the ceaser so there was no way i could hold her myself as I was just to weak from all the drugs and the miriad of wires connected to me but there was no way in hell my baby would be formula fed, they bought her to me every 3 hours for her feeds, and come and hand expressed me during the night to ensure my milk would come in as the drugs i was on could kill any hope of breast feeding, the midwives at PPH were just awesome and I am going back there for my next birth, the support was just fantastic.

I succesfully fed her till she was 8 months old she started showing signs of weaning whic i now know is typical of that age group but we saw it as that and then we made the descion to start IVF again, i fed her thru my FET cycle, and when that didnt work she had to be weened before i could start my drugs for the next full on cycle, and well we all know the outcomes of that waste of time, so i live with the guilt of depriving my child everyday and miss our closeness that we shared but she is still a happy healthy baby toddler. My next journey will be alot longer and im hoping Marlie may just want to come back to me.

lalalala

I have cramps, they are pretty bad.. gonna lay down for the rest of the day. sigh i hope its not a sign that somethin bad is gonna happen. :(

Well that scared the shit out of me

Last night i had my first pregnancy nightmare, i had these early on with Marlie and well this one scared the crap out of me, I was heaily preg but it was mainly based around Marlie and it is so vivid to me now, I awoke at 3am crying, I had dreamed that I had put Marlie on a plane to go have some time with a friend of ours while he was out of the country? firstly wtf sending my daughter away with out me? Then when they were meant to return they didnt show up, we couldnt get in contact with them, and i of course was hysterical by this point that i didnt knwo where my daughter was if she was safe etc and panic had set in, we finally got hold of the person who had my daughter which had now swapped to my friend Lani to be told she had been kidnapped while they were napping and there was a pool of blood out the door, her body was later found mutilated and she was dead, her body came back to me but when it did she had turned back into a newborn, so i had this perfect dead baby in a box, I took her to the doctors and somehow she magically came back to life and started breathing and turned back into my 15 month old Marlie!?!?
talk about a head fuck..
i hate dreaming...
any insights people??

Im Bored

I wish i had something exciting to say or some sort of mind boggling thing to get everyone thinking but alas thats just not me, i ramble crap about shit but sometimes it can be rather amusing?
Well I had a great friday night, i crashed the rainbow crews birthday bash, ok so i was invited at the last minute but still u get my drift, was a very interesting night, and no i wasnt wierded out at all by sazz, sarah and jen drinking each others breast milk and havin a good old giggle about it in the mean time, was highly amusing to see thier reactions lol priceless, but alas it all somehow seemed very normal to me lol
Got home and watched my beloved Conan O'Brian i am so devo about his show being given back to stupid Jay Leno i cant stand him, the very site of his chin makes me want to punch the ugly mofo ugh least Conan is funny..
So today i havent done much, Mike left early and went to work, So i went to my mums and then to spotlight with her, then home for the grubbas nap,  i was meant to go to the shops n do the grocerys but nope, i got pulled into a wow raid at 2pm and i only got out at 8pm! raids are evil time consuming wastes of time but i cant help but play..  lol so much for cutting back on my play time, and dont worry marlie was still played with and time spent with her, she was asleep for 5 hours of it and the other time was spent eating and climbing over me giggling her head off lol
I think i had my first "morning sickness" moment at about 4.30, just this wave of nausea swept over me and i felt like i was gonna hurl, didnt last long though and that is all i got with Marlie so im pretty lucky in that respect :) 
Ok well im gonna go to bed and watch 2012, some have said its a crap movie but i will see for myself

Love & Light
xx

Honest Scrap

I have won something yay lol thanks Kint aka  Domestic Delusions.



The rules are to share 10 honest facts about myself then give the award to 7 other bloggers who inspire me.

 1. I grew up in a sort of commune when i was little, my mum was a nomad, we never stayed in one place long, we were dragged up in suburbia, the bush and on the beach in combys with many other familys, all my extended family i have cousins that are not related to me in any other way other then we all hung out together as kids, and my mums best friends are my auntys.I loved this way of living and would love to have Marlie bought up the same way..

2. I attended 6 different schools.

3. The people who i was close with only 12 months ago are no where to be seen, it shits me.

4. Before having Marlie, i was a workaholic, from the age of 14 i had 3 jobs and attended school and finished my high school certificate, I was the first grandchild to do so.

5. I suffered from bulemia for many years, my lowest weight was 41kilos at 5foot 9, kids are cruel and somethin i will be very vigilant with marlie, i wont let her be the fat kid like i was.

6. My dad died when i was 11, it fucked me up, i was away at school camp when it happened and told by a stranger that my dad was dead and i had to go home, he was drink driving on the way home from the pub, fell asleep at the wheel and crashed into a power pole leaving behind his wife and 4 daughters, for years i would not leave my mums side for fear she would die too, i use to sit at the door waiting for her to come home from work and if she was late i was hysterical, oh and i never went on a school camp ever again.

7. I love to find out about other ways of doing things, My attitude has changed so much from the person i was 18 months ago, a few friends have shown me this.

8. We TTC Marlie for 3 years before IVF finally gave us our beautiful girl.

9. I still cant beleive im pregnant naturally.

10. One day i will do what ive always wanted to do.... one day.

2ND BLOOD RESULTS IN

Woooo Hooooo
 HCG = 1800
PROGESTERONE = 54

I got the levels from the first test too and they were

HCG=32
PROGESTERONE =15

Soooooo levels are awesome and put me right on 5 weeks, I will only have to be on the pessarys until tuesday my doc said, but i think i will take them a little longer just for my own piece of mind, they cant hurt me only makes things better for the baby bug,  I will be going for a early scan even though my doc didnt really wanna give me the slip but i begged him, i need to see a heartbeat! to wait till 12 weeks would just kill me!

I booked in with a new obstetrician today, as Dr Marshall is no longer delivering, the more i hear about him the more i think perhaps i didnt need to have the ceasarian but nothin i can do about it now... Soooo I will be seeing Dr. D'Mello and going private again to PPH, He is the only doc there at PPH that will even entertain the idea of VBAC, so we are aiming for this, i know there are other options available to me but I just couldnt see myself doing it, i would be to afraid, but when i see Doc D for the first time i will look more into it, i guess it will all depend on how my stupid body reacts this time, hopefully we dont have a repeat of Marlie's birth and late stage of pregnancy, pre-eclampsia sucks, my sister had it with her first but not her second so heres hopin i follow suit and dont get it again, m blood pressure still hasnt normallised from the prev experience with it but we will just have to wait n see..

How can u not smile at this!

God I live for this!

Last night we had our god son Zac overnight, So this morning yes 8am we headed off to the park as we were all up at 6 thanks to Marlie and Zac was getting very bored here at home there is only so much coloring in one can do and tv just wasnt cuttin it so off we went! Lots of fun had by all, Dadda and Zac were playing hide the thongs? lol as ya do and Marlie was happy just running around climbing up the blocks and doin here own thing

Only i dont think we will be going on the swings again... she was not a fan

ouch!

UGHH woke up this morning feeling quite queeeasy with bad lower back pain, sharp pains on my right hand side and dying of thirst lol ahhhhh the joys hehe i just got back from my 2nd blood test, hopefully all the levels are rising nicely and that my progesterone levels will be so huge i wont need the pessarys!
Sooooo i asked mike last night if he was up for it so to speak and well i got told no he doesnt want to cause any problems.... sooo looks like another preg with out sex!! i spose i understand his worry and all that but im not showin any signs of loosing this little miracle so he sucks but he is the better safe then sorry person out of the 2 of us so i guess maybe once were over 12 weeks he might change his mind.. maybeeee

Fav Songs for the Grubba

Havin a lala day so thought i would share the lyrics to some of my favorite songs i play to Marlie.

Lullaby by The Dixie Chicks


They didn't have you where I come from
Never knew the best was yet to come
Life began when I saw your face
And I hear your laugh like a serenade

How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up

I slip in bed when you're asleep
To hold you close and feel your breath on me
Tomorrow there'll be so much to do
So tonight I'll drift in a dream with you

How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up

As you wander through this troubled world
In search of all things beautiful
You can close your eyes when you're miles away
And hear my voice like a serenade

How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up

How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up




And our bedtime song of the same name but by Creed
Lullaby - Creed


Hush my love now dont you cry
Everything will be all right
Close your eyes and drift in dream
Rest in peaceful sleep

If theres one thing I hope
I showed you
Hope I showed you

Just give love to all

Oh my love in my arms tight
Every day you give me life
As I drift off to your world
Will rest in peaceful sleep

I know there's one thing that
you showed me
That you showed me

Just give love to all
Let's give love to all

Great Weekend

Hello My name is Ebony and im a compulsive pee stick test taker... to date i think i have now taken about 9 tests... sad yes i know lol but thats life, heres todays installment... YAY THE LINES FINALLY MATCH!!!
ok no more pics of that i promise.... or do i..... lol nah i prob wont take anymore now that they match, i just neded to see them be the same for my own piece of mind, im feeling ok, lower back is kaning and im very tired but loving every minute of it, i have been given the chance of another baby im not about to sook and whinge about it..yet... lol nah i had a very good pregnancy with Marlie so i am hoping this one will be the same, i didnt get morning sickness and the worst that happened was the high blood pressure and almost dying after my emergency ceaser, so this time around i am hoping for a VBAC, Marlie was my IVF created, ceaserain born so im hoping this one will be my well obviously naturally conceived and vaginally born, i really feel like i have missed out on the experience although it couldnt be helped and i had to do what the docs said or i basically prob wouldnt be here, kidneys shutting down and blood clotting is not a nice mix with a pregnant woman.  But we will see how it goes, I need to find me a new obstetrician as mine retired shortly after Marlie was born, I rang them the other day to tell them i was preg as i was meant to be going in for a endo review and another surgery! so that is all cancelled now hehe that was a good phone call to make although im glad i didnt have to tell doc M to his face or he would of given me the i told you so lecture, he was positive i would fall preg on my own after having Marlie and well so was everyone else actually lol i told them all to get into reality thats a urban legend lol so i am thinking of changing the name of my blog to "The Urban Legend" hehehe what do you think?

Anyway over the weekend was good, Friday arvo thru to friday night i had some great mates over with all the kidlets, Kint Xave & Stella,  Cara & Miky, Jen & Jack and Jess & Alex, just sat around talking crap for a few hours then Kinty & Jess left and it was just Cara, Jen and Me left, the kids all had a ball playing while us mamas had a chat about various topics lol

After all the playing it was bath time and yes i have censored this pic as who knows what sickos are out there!

Saturday Me n Rara headed down to the water festival, we didnt stay long but i run into Kinty at the ABA stand and stayed awhile there havin a good ole chat while rara went to find her karate friends, unfortunately it was the gruba's bedtime so she wasnt allowed out of her pram or i would of had WW3 on my hand tryin to get her back in the pram afterwards... mamas have to make these executive descions sometimes lol but she still saw the animals from her pram and all that, I didnt end up attendin the wedding i was meant to i was just to darn tired and Mike came home last night instead of today like he was meant to so i spent the night with him... ok so i went to bed and he played wow but still! oh and speaking of wow i have cut right back on play time ive barely even touched it really so yay i have given up mother energy drinks.. cut back on wow... got preg so most of my new years resloutions are met!!

ok signing off now i have rambled on enough xx

Love & Light