o0o another scan

Well my scan went really really well, bubz was jumpin round and movin all over the place, measuring a day ahead of dates.. still havent seen my OB yet was meant to see him last week but they cancelled my appointment grrrr at them but oh well its tomorrow instead and i'll be 13w6d!! I thought i woulda seen him at least once by now! otherwise weverything is going good just taking it day by day.. i feel pretty normal now cept my nose keeps bloody running and my nipples are still sensitive.. and twice there size.. and my boobs are massive.. i'm gonna be like a jersey cow by the time this one makes it out!

We have a heartbeat!!

YAY
HAd my first scan today, i was tossing and turning all night last night, dreaming of blighted ovums, no heartbeat, and every other possible thing that could go wrong and it was all for nothing, went into the city bright and early at 8am for my scan and we got there parked along the side street.. $2 beats $10 screw the hospital car park lol and yeh toddled up there i was the first appointment.. the nerves were killing me.. so much so that they told me to wait out the front and come back in in 10 minutes get changed etc well i was still out the front counting down the minutes at 6 minutes they came out and called michael lol i wasnt even in there or changed hahaha so quick smart i got changed.. i dont think i have ever gotten changed so quick in my life lol.. ok so i get in there sit on the bench and then in comes mikes.. lie back and she puts the "dildocam" in and then i see everything.. i was really concerned at first coz being a first timer had no idea what to look for and all i saw was the big black oblong and then a little black hollow circle.. so heres my dumbness.... i thought the oblong shape was my uterus.. and the little circle was the sac and it was empty!! well turns the big black oblong shape was the sac and the little circle was the yolk sac which when she fiddled with the dildocam tada there was my baby growing off the side of the yolk sac!! hahaha lucky i didnt say anything or cry or soemthing stupid until she explained it all hahaha what a dweeb!! i told mike on the way home and he said he thought the same too haha so were both idiots lol, so we have told everyone, we were gonna wait till 12 weeks but we thought nah fuck it haha we were too excited!!! Heres my little baby blob~!~ GES= 6w3d - CRL= 0.44cm HB= 128bpm

WELL ITS ALL CONFIRMED

I'M PREGNANT!!!

WOOOO HOOOO

HCG WAS 325!!!!!!

EDD s 6th of November!!

4 days before my 25th Birthday yay!!

Ok well i'm pretty sure this is it.. AF has not shown up.. still one more day till my bloodtest but i'm really confident.. as you can see the line is so dark now it matches the control line!!

POSITVE

Good golly.... I think we've done it!!
I have been feeling really wierd all week, so so so sooooo tired and i just thought well i have to be.. so i tested yesterday and faint BFP couldnt get a good pic of it so i tested again this morning... and well you can see the result... AF isnt due till wednesday and my blood test is on friday the 29th and omg i'm gonna go mental for the next week.
xxx

Hercules, hercules, hercules!

My Beautiful little Hercules!!

7 cells and put back again by my FS Jim Tsaltas...

hopefully this one makes it, i have one left in the freezer then onto a new cycle if no good, I am on progesterone pessarys this time so fingers crossed it makes all the difference, i had a massage the day before xfer and accupuncture the night of the xfer so yay i'm excited...
my nipples are way tender at the moment too but that is the progesterone side effects..this is gonna be a hard 2ww.. bt on the 29th of Feb. woo

Heres come another one

Righteo well i am going in for my transfer today, this is emby #3 Third time lucky right?? I will be back later to post a pic of it, hopefully it will be a 8 cell like last time, I am having progesterone support this time too which is good news, i'm feeling pretty confident this will be it for us for awhile, 2 baby psychics have told us that we will get good news in Feb/March... so they better be bloody right both indicated a boys but one said twins the other said singleton and i am only having one emby so unless the egg splits or my natrually ovulated egg is somehow miraculously fertalised it will be a single **hopefully**

Make Beleive

Until today if someone asked me what make believe was I would have told them its a game young children play to amuse themselves. Its a thing that we do when we are young. When we grow up that part of our lives is gone as well. However thinking about the subject today I realized it is not. I make believe everyday that there is hope in a hopeless situation. I try forcing myself to believe that everything is just a wash nothing really is needed that I have let go of, pushed away or was taken away. I make believe that I really did not need these things in my life. It is the only way I know how to make sense of senseless things. To tell myself they arent needed. I am sorry to those of you who read my ramblings. I know I dont need a lot of things but its that fear of never having that really bothers me. It is that fear of living like this forever. Many of you say things like Mike n me will be fine....yes we will be fine...I know that. I am just tired of being fine. I am not as a matter of fact fine..nothing I am feeling is fine....nothing from my point of view at this given time is fine..... We have the best most awesome family any one person could ever in a million years ask for. We are blessed to be where we are right now we are fortunate to have the things we have. Many other people don't even have that. I get and understand that fact and I am thankful for that everyday. Thankful that the people who mean the most to me are so willing to give of themselves and help me and Mike anytime we need it. Thank you

FET #2

So Af arrived today, so CD1 is morrow which means i will be looking at a emby xfer on the 16th i hope! saturday would be perfect for me, that way mike can come with out taking any time of work woo hooo

The game has begun

Ok well i am in the 2ww.. an official one... i have ovulated all on my ownsome and have an awesome pic to prove it lol, so this is the first real ovulation guarenteed cycle since my lap in December.. lets hope it done something and this will be it.. HA who am i trying to fool. so basically its really 4 weeks till my FET.. countdown is on wooooo hooooo...

So its 2008

ok its a new year, 2008, this year i will turn 25, looking back i thought i would of accomplished much more, i thought i would of had a baby by now, i thought i would be 3 dress sizes smaller.. i thought well i thought alot didnt really do any of it though.. which is sad, i didnt even celebrate new years eve.. 2007 was THE WORST YEAR OF MY LIFE..

p.s... af arrived today