Ok well i'm pretty sure this is it.. AF has not shown up.. still one more day till my bloodtest but i'm really confident.. as you can see the line is so dark now it matches the control line!!

POSITVE

Good golly.... I think we've done it!!
I have been feeling really wierd all week, so so so sooooo tired and i just thought well i have to be.. so i tested yesterday and faint BFP couldnt get a good pic of it so i tested again this morning... and well you can see the result... AF isnt due till wednesday and my blood test is on friday the 29th and omg i'm gonna go mental for the next week.
xxx

Hercules, hercules, hercules!

My Beautiful little Hercules!!

7 cells and put back again by my FS Jim Tsaltas...

hopefully this one makes it, i have one left in the freezer then onto a new cycle if no good, I am on progesterone pessarys this time so fingers crossed it makes all the difference, i had a massage the day before xfer and accupuncture the night of the xfer so yay i'm excited...
my nipples are way tender at the moment too but that is the progesterone side effects..this is gonna be a hard 2ww.. bt on the 29th of Feb. woo

Heres come another one

Righteo well i am going in for my transfer today, this is emby #3 Third time lucky right?? I will be back later to post a pic of it, hopefully it will be a 8 cell like last time, I am having progesterone support this time too which is good news, i'm feeling pretty confident this will be it for us for awhile, 2 baby psychics have told us that we will get good news in Feb/March... so they better be bloody right both indicated a boys but one said twins the other said singleton and i am only having one emby so unless the egg splits or my natrually ovulated egg is somehow miraculously fertalised it will be a single **hopefully**

Make Beleive

Until today if someone asked me what make believe was I would have told them its a game young children play to amuse themselves. Its a thing that we do when we are young. When we grow up that part of our lives is gone as well. However thinking about the subject today I realized it is not. I make believe everyday that there is hope in a hopeless situation. I try forcing myself to believe that everything is just a wash nothing really is needed that I have let go of, pushed away or was taken away. I make believe that I really did not need these things in my life. It is the only way I know how to make sense of senseless things. To tell myself they arent needed. I am sorry to those of you who read my ramblings. I know I dont need a lot of things but its that fear of never having that really bothers me. It is that fear of living like this forever. Many of you say things like Mike n me will be fine....yes we will be fine...I know that. I am just tired of being fine. I am not as a matter of fact fine..nothing I am feeling is fine....nothing from my point of view at this given time is fine..... We have the best most awesome family any one person could ever in a million years ask for. We are blessed to be where we are right now we are fortunate to have the things we have. Many other people don't even have that. I get and understand that fact and I am thankful for that everyday. Thankful that the people who mean the most to me are so willing to give of themselves and help me and Mike anytime we need it. Thank you