Its been a month

and what has happened this month?
not alot... but oh so much at the same time
My babys are growing up so quickly, Logan cut his first 2 teeth this morning! his bottom ones are thru the skin and u can see and feel them! easter saturday...  marlie cut her first 2 at easter too... seems to be a tradition in our family hehe, sure Logan is a month older then she was but hey sacrifices must be made for tradition right ;)
I am at around 65.5kilos now... do i feel good... not really.. i still see fat ebby... my demons are one that are just to strong for me to battle right now im too tired so meh.
Marlie has turned into monster, seriously she will be 3 in october and god it better get better soon, her temper is unbelievable if she goes into melt down she goes into MELTDOWN and nothin we can do will help the situation she just screams and screams and hides in corners doing so, she did this for over a hour the other day, it was the worst one yet, she wouldnt of even remembered why she was carrying on she just got so worked up and just wanted me to hold her, so i held her, she cried screamed, kicked and carried on but if i put her down she would come back for another cuddle, it was nothing i had ever witnessed before and something i was not prepared for, she is normally such a beautiful loving child, strong willed yes, stubborn yes but manageable, as ive said i just wasnt prepared for these outbursts, but anyway...rambling on

Its at this time of year, well this and Christmas.. actually any religious holidays...  that i question my faith, do i have any? no.. i lost my faith when my father died so the answer is no.. am i jealous of those that have it still? yes a little, i would love to belong to a community where i felt safe and everyone was warm and welcoming.. the idea of it sounds fantastic, i grew up in church groups and use to do all the youth activity's and enjoyed every minute of it, faith is not something i can see myself finding again, my husband for one is a firm non believer and laughs at the very thought of going to church and i get told to get fucked and that he wont be sucked into there bullshit... everything is bullshit though, it doesnt matter what you believe at the end of the day no one really knows the truth blah blah blah

my little business venture is a bit of a flop, i need to get tot he markets but its proving to be harder then i first anticipated.. mike works most saturdays and thats when the markets are on... my mum has moved out bush so she cant look after my kids, my sisters have there own kids, my mother in law does the markets already with her beanie bears... sigh i guess its just something that ill keep doing on fb with the odd order here and there.

ok i will try n blog more if i have the time... as is it here my house is a fucking bomb zone and i hate it being like this... ugh time to clean!